Just Shy of Acceptable.

Is your child shy?  If so, does is it make you uncomfortable in social situations?  I mean, do you feel obliged to make excuses? 

I do, and I feel bad about it.  I'm wondering though, is it my problem, or does society expect too much?  Speaking for myself...

I feel pressure when my child doesn't acknowledge people with a smile, or hint of recognition, because I know they want it!

They want giggles and gleaming eyes, outward affection.

So, in response to their unspoken disappointment, I make excuses. 

Ones like:

"He's usually not this quiet," or...

"It just takes him a little time."

I feel ashamed of this mommy behavior, and I want to change it.  My child isn't justifying my personality traits, or my awkwardness.

My boy is who he is, and he's sure proud of it!

Most likely, I'm the one with silence issues, and it's my social anxiety reering its nasty head, but it's something to think about.

I just appreciate the honesty my child exhibits, and I think I stand to learn from it.  When a stranger gets in Aksel's face, he doesn't react based on society's expectations.  He responds truthfully, in accordance to his own comfort.  Whatever that might be?

My boy is independent, and contentedly shy.

A Census on the Senses 2010.

You've gotten the scoop on how I communicate with my baby's daddy, or as I often refer to him, my mental husband.  I've also touched briefly on the matter of my parents and their long-ago love/hate woes, but I have not yet expressed, how in fact, I communicate with my cooing babe, my light and stunning joy -- Aksel.

Wait a minute!  Back up a second!

Rather I meant to say, I have not yet shared, how in fact, my bubble-blowing boy communicates to me.  Wise beyond his weeks, there's something sweet, intentional, and true about the way in which he speaks.  Ironically, without uttering a single word!

But really, I stand to learn a lot from my child.  And I'm questioning him, mind you, with my trusted pen in hand, and my tag-along lump in throat.

What can I say?  Human behavior interests me.  I'm enthralled by it actually!  But children, in particular, fascinate me most.  As a mother first, a writer second, and a performer past, I observe their presence.  Little ones live in the moment.  Without apologizing, sans embarrassment and such, they respond honestly, with conviction always. 

What I've come to discover, is that it's a matter of the senses for Aksel.  I'll say it simply, without breaking down each communication example, detail by tiny detail -- my little man responds to stimulation.  When his five senses are engaged, individually, or all at once, he expresses himself without reserve.  He cries.  He smiles.  He wails, and coos.  He grabs at fingers, and swats at toys.  He wiggles.  He pouts.  He snores, and sneezes.  He lives.  He breathes, and sticks his tongue out!

Basically, I've learned there's no pretending when the senses are involved.  To a child, that is. 

Adults, for the most part, are a different story.  Much too much artifice and pretense!  Why is that?  I'm curious to know...

So, I'm conducting a census.  A census on the senses.

We can't move forward until we respond.  And, participation isn't just important -- it's mandatory!

_____________________________________________________

Gillian Mulligan's
Census
  2010
_______________________________________________________

1. How many senses were engaged in your life on April 1, 2010?

Number of senses =

2. Were there any additional sensations ignored on April 1, 2010 that you did not include in Question 1?

Mark all that apply.
   
Sight?
Sound?
Smell?
Touch?
Taste?

3.  How many times did you apologize for responding to those senses in your house, apartment, or mobile home?

4.  What is Person 1's hang-up about being vulnerable?

5.  Does Person 1, belonging to the human race, admonish his child when he responds to sensory stimuli?

6.  What is Person 1's age and what is Person 1's date of birth? 

Please report babies as having 0 hang-ups about being real.

7.   Person 1, do you want to connect to yourself and the world around you?

8.  If so, Person 1, how much time are you willing to waste before you make a change?
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I have my ideas, and an experience or two to share, about sensory engagement... next time though!

Photography by Josh Branstetter. 

http://www.jabberpics.com/