Baby Talk without the Babble: A Mark off Momma's Bucket List.

My child forces me to live in the moment.

Aksel inspires me to live without apologizing, without shame, without regret. I seem now to listen to my instincts, and honestly... I'm a better person because I AM A MOTHER!

I no longer have the TIME to think about, judge, question, or fear my impulses. Rather, I'm being. I'm busy doing. I'm 100% present, and I'm finally living in the moment.

How this relates to today's entry you might ask?

Here goes...

My whole life, I've wanted to perform. I've dreamt of being on stage, of being in a film, or being simply, unafraid to express my true self.

With this being said, I've had my fair share of training. I've studied method acting in New York. I've passed long hours engaged in sense memory. I've read the books. I've watched the classics. Basically, I've devoted much of my life to the art of emoting, but I've had something holding me back.

What? I don't know exactly, but I self-edited, manipulated my emotions, and was petrified to be vulnerable. I was too aware, and I didn't honestly react in the moment.

(For all ye thespians, an insightful read: Respect for Acting)

I've come to this simple conclusion...

There is, in my opinion, no greater training for life, acting, and spontaneity than motherhood!

My child, and the great love I hold for him, has centered me like nothing else!

Speaking for myself, I've stopped clinging to the past - to all the negative things that happened to me, or the setbacks I encountered in my life.

I guess you could say I'm not as selfish!

I'm also no longer dreaming about the future. I'm so HAPPY with right-this-minute, I have no need to fantasize! I'm living the dream!

Really though, I woke up one day not long ago, and my agenda was different. It was, and is rather, about living in the now, about not being afraid to grab happiness -- all in order to create a beginning and life for my little bug, Aksel!

With that having been said, we accomplished together a dream I've always had, and I can now mark it off the do-before-I-die list (aka Momma's Bucket List)!

We were, for a day, a background mother & ailing child in the upcoming independent film, Little Red Wagon. It was a pleasure to work with, and observe closely, the many talented individuals that make cinematic magic happen.

By the way, Frances O'Connor is ethereal in person!

From here though, the sky seems to really be the limit!

FYI: Director David Anspaugh complimented my chill baby, and called him a little movie star! I'm slightly biased, but my five-month-old is quite the professional!

Our Day on the Set.