Now that it's out, now that we know Aksel is autistic, people ask:
"How did you know so early, at just 20-months-old?"
I've thought about this for a while now, and looking back, I think I always knew. As strange as that might sound.
I mean, from the moment I met my child, my sweet boy, I observed in him a kind of old soul quality.
He was calm, and his eyes were deep...
But my father was the first to broach the subject (at 13-months-old). To say, "Could there be something different about Aksel?"
Immediately, in response, the floodgates opened, and I cried.
Because I suspected much the same. My peaceful baby was different. And other people knew it. They could see it, too.
I denied it though. That day.
His quiet way was just a case of shyness then.
But to answer the question, I've always known. My mother's instinct told me early on. I just waited 20 long months for the official yes.
Moral of this post, don't be ashamed of different. And also, listen to the voice inside, even when it's saying what you don't want to hear.
PS - We're making lots of progress in therapy. Updates soon!
"How did you know so early, at just 20-months-old?"
I've thought about this for a while now, and looking back, I think I always knew. As strange as that might sound.
I mean, from the moment I met my child, my sweet boy, I observed in him a kind of old soul quality.
He was calm, and his eyes were deep...
But my father was the first to broach the subject (at 13-months-old). To say, "Could there be something different about Aksel?"
Immediately, in response, the floodgates opened, and I cried.
Because I suspected much the same. My peaceful baby was different. And other people knew it. They could see it, too.
I denied it though. That day.
His quiet way was just a case of shyness then.
But to answer the question, I've always known. My mother's instinct told me early on. I just waited 20 long months for the official yes.
Moral of this post, don't be ashamed of different. And also, listen to the voice inside, even when it's saying what you don't want to hear.
PS - We're making lots of progress in therapy. Updates soon!
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I'm loving your blog and most of all your honesty. Keep it coming...so refreshing!
ReplyDeleteYou are just amazing! I can feel the love you have your little boy and you are embracing this challenge with the BEST attitude. I admire you miss Gillian!
ReplyDeleteI knew as well. I said to the Dr, "You think he has Asperger's. Don't you?" as she was struggling for the right way to break the news to us. Of course we were referred to a psychologist to confirm the diagnosis but even there I laid it all out on the table for him so we wouldn't waste time. Glad to hear you are doing well with therapy. Keep up the good work. I PROMISE it does get easier. <3
ReplyDeletePS: I know how you like to get involved with causes. Please keep me informed if there is something you decide to do for awareness, ect. We would defiantly make a trip to Charleston to participate! There isn't much here in Hartsville that I know of. :(
ReplyDeleteDon't be ashamed of different is right! He will be embraced for who he is and what he does. I was just talking to another mom about this very same thing today. Thank you for sharing.
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