If I don't write, I feel like my head'll explode. And I've felt this way since I was a young girl.
Like I needed to purge my thoughts. My descriptions of interesting places, and the people therein. My observations about life.
And when I say purge, I mean often. (Write often, that is.)
For example, during my college years, I always carried paper and a pen in my purse, because I had to write. To be more specific, a spiral-bound journal (adorned with relevant time-period clippings), a reliable felt-tip pen (preferably in black), and Wite-Out (because I was particular, go figure, about my penmanship).
From time to time, I even had a voice recorder on hand.
But to my point, I've been feeling overwhelmed lately, and I'm struggling to organize my thoughts, my heavy writer's mind.
And with everything going on, my mother's recent health tests (she's undergoing an endoscopic procedure on Monday), Aksel's autism diagnosis, and the in-between stuff like housecleaning, laundry, and dentist appointments, I've been in a serious spin.
Throw in the disability/Tefra/Medicaid application-process and multiple weekly in-home therapy sessions, and I could just cry.
That all said, I know everything I've written recently has been negative (and I'm sorry for it), but it's just where I'm swimming. I'm treading water in a pool of positive-thinking, very near to the deep end of depression. And I need to make time to exercise, to take care of myself, because I'm feeling spread thin.
On a positive closing note, Aksel's been making tremendous strides in therapy, and I have much, in the way of good news, to soon share.
As always, thanks for reading. And, happy Friday!
Like I needed to purge my thoughts. My descriptions of interesting places, and the people therein. My observations about life.
And when I say purge, I mean often. (Write often, that is.)
For example, during my college years, I always carried paper and a pen in my purse, because I had to write. To be more specific, a spiral-bound journal (adorned with relevant time-period clippings), a reliable felt-tip pen (preferably in black), and Wite-Out (because I was particular, go figure, about my penmanship).
From time to time, I even had a voice recorder on hand.
But to my point, I've been feeling overwhelmed lately, and I'm struggling to organize my thoughts, my heavy writer's mind.
And with everything going on, my mother's recent health tests (she's undergoing an endoscopic procedure on Monday), Aksel's autism diagnosis, and the in-between stuff like housecleaning, laundry, and dentist appointments, I've been in a serious spin.
Throw in the disability/Tefra/Medicaid application-process and multiple weekly in-home therapy sessions, and I could just cry.
That all said, I know everything I've written recently has been negative (and I'm sorry for it), but it's just where I'm swimming. I'm treading water in a pool of positive-thinking, very near to the deep end of depression. And I need to make time to exercise, to take care of myself, because I'm feeling spread thin.
On a positive closing note, Aksel's been making tremendous strides in therapy, and I have much, in the way of good news, to soon share.
As always, thanks for reading. And, happy Friday!
Posts
Like you said, writing is your way to make sense of it all. Keep doing it. We've all been treading the water at one point. Some of us may have even let our head dip below for the surface. It's ok. It's part of being human. You know how to best cope. Just make sure you do it. We need your voice. :)
ReplyDeleteI can promise you an hour of relaxing positive time at Polished!!
ReplyDeleteSorry you're havin such a hard time girl, you're totally allowed to vent and be negative if you want to! I really hope things turn around for you soon! Sending good vibes your way! Voted for you too :)
ReplyDeleteyup, my blog is definitely an outlet for me... even when i don't need to "vent" persay, it's a big creative outlet that i crave.
ReplyDeleteI liked reading this. i just started a blog..and it has been a great outlet for me too! momto8blog
ReplyDeleteRally enjoyed reading yous post - you are obviously quite a good writer
ReplyDeleteLet it all out Gillian, you're a real person, with real life problems and feelings. I'm truly sorry you're going through such a rough patch :(
ReplyDelete