My Love's Capability?

Over the last four years,  Mark and I have lived spontaneously with responsiblity too.  We have managed, as young business owners, to balance the many challenges of a successful restaurant and prosper in a climate of economic distress.  We have learned only through experience, how best to deal with our stressors and frustration.  I can't say we're perfect, or that we've handled every situation appropriately, but I feel confident we've grown as a couple and our perspective on life and business has evolved for the better.

With this all having been said, parenthood is something new altogether.  It's a challenge we'll both have to assess and take slowly. 

I have loved, and will miss the instances when Mark has looked at me and said, "Let's go to Mexico today.  Let's pack a carry-on and leave this afternoon!"  With a tinge of sadness, I know that I will reminisce occasionally and recall memories of our carefree life before baby, but I'm ready for a change. I'm curious actually?!  What most intrigues me about motherhood at this current moment, is my potential for love and selflessness.  I can wholeheartedly acknowledge that I've led a selfish existence until I learned of my pregnancy.  I hope to grow in my current relationships... I believe I haven't an idea of my love's capability quite yet. I can't begin to understand the magnitude of what I'll feel for little man, Aksel. At the same time, I don't want to contrive the experience. Honesty and truth in the moment, is what I want most.

It's coming soon...

Postdated today, but written prior to the baby's arrival and the New Year 2010!